Behaviors that kill attraction

Many people male and female commit several mistakes when attempting to attract one another. These types of toxic attitudes are harmfully rooted in false beliefs of love, negativity, and selfishness. To be more successful, you must ultimately rely on your own ability to attract others. Be watchful of these attraction-killers: 

* Desperation - Looking for signals, constant contact with your crush, worrying about losing him or her, etc. are all signs of desperation. When you choose to be clingy, you decrease your chances of getting a date. People think that by constantly contacting a crush, they are increasing attraction but this is wrong. They are actually behaving out of desperation. Consider how your crush feels when you make him or her feel suffocated by your behavior. Any attraction that was once present quickly fades. Attraction takes alot of patience to build. To be successful, give your crush freedom. When you get to a point where you have confessed your feelings for one another, say something casual like 

You: "I'd like to take you out on a date sometime so we can have some fun, what do you say?" 

Crush: "Hmm...i'm not sure...." 

You: "Well...here's my contact info, let me know if your up for it.." 

After that, do not contact your crush at all. Give him or her time to come up with a decision. Gradually give your crush a little time and effort until you both can enter into a committed relationship. Fear is rooted in negative thoughts such as "what if i lose her? What if i do something wrong? What if she doesn't like me?" In reality, you are doing nothing wrong. It's only when you allow these negative thoughts to define you that you lose your attractiveness. The best option to take is to think positively and take comfort that everything's fine. If you lose her, you will still keep on living. Think of potential mates as a range of choices rather than focusing solely on one person. 

* Hiding your flaws - When you show dishonesty about who you are, you ruin your chances of a relationship. Sure, you may still lose her but at least you showed honesty. Your best option is to gradually reveal your flaws and explain how you are working to overcome them. If your crush accepts them, only then can a strong relationship form. 

* Selfish expectations - Expecting crushes to conform to your manipulative, controlling, and abusive behavior will automatically ruin attraction. You are not entitled to your crush. You are not even entitled to your spouse. Your admirer has the freedom and independence to leave you at any given moment. Love is not the source of pain, selfish expectations are. That being said, stop thinking about what you want and think about what is in the best interest of your crush. Be supportive at all times even if you don't end up together. Let go of selfish expectations and you will free yourself from unnecessary pain. 

Reflect on the types of behavior that might be causing you to ruin your attractiveness and correct them. Learning what not to do is as important as learning healthy boundaries to maintain in your interactions with others. 

How to never be played again

If you clicked on this blog, you've probably been led on by guys or girls. You may feel angry, frustrated, depressed, sad, asking yourself "how can people treat me this way?" It's very easy to get into a negative cycle which is why i decided to write some tips that will help you break it. Being played hurts which is why you must channel negative energy into a positive and lively force. Stop making excuses for why you cannot date again. Stop using the mistakes of the past to define who you are now. Take a stand for what matters most to you. Take control of your life now and never be played again. When you are the one attracted to another person, here are steps you can take:

* Ask yourself: "Is he/she available?" - Players may already have a lover, work, school, or lack trust. Without trust, players cannot be emotionally available. Whatever the situation is, players won't make themselves available for commitment. It also depends on the types of people you chase after or allow in your life. If you find yourself accepting people who are unavailable for a relationship, look for those who are.

* Ask yourself: "How does he/she treat you and others?" - Does your crush present him or herself genuinely? Is your crush too perfect? If that's the case, your crush is probably hiding flaws he or she doesn't want you to know about. Does your crush constantly compliment you with insincerity? Call you names? Flirt? How does your crush treat those around you? If he or she gossips or disrespects other potential mates for fear of losing you, it's a warning sign. How will you know your crush won't ditch you as soon as they find another suitable partner? Players are looking for an ego boost. They want to feel desirable and will often look for a reaction from you without the intent of a relationship. If they neglect building a strong friendship, they are likely playing you.

* Stand up for yourself - Stop letting yourself be someone else's little play thing. Be assertive in what you will and will not tolerate. You control your own actions, not others. You can choose to deny any unwanted advances at any moment.

* Realize not everyone is going to lead you on - There are bad people in the world but there are also good people. Not everyone is the same. There will be people who won't lead you on. The key is to know where to look and how. If you feel insecure about who to trust, meet new people. You don't have to necessarily date anyone. Just seek simple friendships and go from there. When you realize there are many options available to you, the pressure to keep your guard up will disappear.

I hope that one day, you will remove toxic people from your life and be one step closer to finding your soulmate.